I wait for you here, even if you don't know that I am

While being my old disapointed self, one of my friends looked at me in the eyes and asked
"Is she really better then me?"
Well wait it wasn't exact word for word but I got the point.
I answered with the simplest word my mind could think of.
"Relax"
RELAX!!!?? how can you tell someone to relax if they are worried about something. How can I say relax even when I myself worry about things.
The point is that worry and jealousy and fear and hatred and disappointment are all part of life.
Yes, we all strive to be the best and to be the one to get that trophy and smile at all the poor saps who didn't. But, one day someone will come along and win over you and he/she is the one laughing and smiling while you are here saddended and angry.

But why? Why is it that when we lose we seem to become disstressed? Why is it when we fall we fall so hard?
The answer is that we try so hard and pour our hearts into it. We give everything we've got and still we don't make it. This is what hurts us. That is way I had to answer the queston the way I did. Because I who give everything at the moment I have and still be the one who is looking at someone else smile and laugh it destroys me. But, that pain leads to determination. I will try harder and if I fall even harder and harder until I reach that goal. If it means to put everything else aside I will.

But is it really worth it? Is life really worth giving up for.........such a simple thing?
Life is a long, very long ,very long, time and to use that time to improve yourself is the greatest gift of life. But there is only one life and to use it to the max is the true gift of life.

So even if I get in front of you. I will still wait for you here until you reach me and I will stay here even if you don't know that I'M WAITING.