Solution of ..............

So this weekend I was at Brookwood tournament which was pretty fun since it was academic team and the car ride there was nothing but laughs. But when we got there we had a new mind setting we knew we were going to get owned but at least we should gain some points. So 1st round not bad started to lose a little in the begnining and made a huge comeback against south foryr and won 180 to 85. Pretty happy since we thought we were all going to get owned at this tournament but not bad. Off to round two..lost a little bit actually a lot 130 to 75 sigh we knew we were goin to lose but when a older team mate tells you, you tried your best but, you know you didn't.

You know the answers to those question but didn't buzz in or was too slow, or you mess up a bonus because your mind blanks off and your like "no i knew that dang it". This isn't playing at your best. Sure I know that this is one of the hardest tournaments we've had so far and the older players keep on resuring us that we did good for freshman year but no one on my team agress. We know we didn't try our best we know we should've gotten more question and bonuses. To play our best we need to get every tossup we know and every bonus, even if we don't win that round we know we did good since we answered what we know and it is time to work on what we dont. Like my dad told me "You have to have a base before you can build a building".

So that's our resolution to answer what we know and work on what we don't. However, we have a problem unfortuantly we are the only 3 members of the freshman class who actually are dedicated to this and our fourth member is busy and comes to tournaments ocassionly I don't blame him. But to have a player like that with 2 majors and 3ish minors could harm the team greatly. So Tim offered a new plan to split the majors and minors among the three of us, putting more weight on our shoulders. *sigh* now I really need to have a strong base before holding up to all these things. Its not that I don't like it when teammates say you did your best.........its that pain inside saying no you didn't. So my resolution is to improve myself then I can play my best.

Do you ever fear that sometimes you are not good enough? and when you try to become better its still not good enough? I say
"To compete with others you first must compete with yourself."

A word of Thanks

It took me a long time too realize this but I have been protected by a guardian angel along since I came to Southside. I might not have noticed it at first but what this person has said and done really has helped me. And I would like to take this blog to thank her for everything she's done for me so far and keeping me with my head high and looking toward the future.

I didn't know it that God would send me an angel in my own carpool. So it was just sheer coincendence...no it wasn't. God sent her to me to guide me through high school to keep me up on my feet and to generally be happy. With such words as "How was your day?" or such things as "Don't worry you'll do great." just the words that morally support you through life. I don't know how lucky I am to have such a person in my life someone who I can count on to let all probelms go, and she understands everyword and gives her ideas and comments. She is always there to also give a little crticism and says what I need to avoid, she generally just make my day feel so much better and afterwards make sure I'm ok. I really don't know how lucky I am to have her in my life.

One example of this is the time we were going home from Bob Jones I was so sure I should've placed however I didn't and she was the first one to know my change. She asked what's wrong and I just let everything out and she says don't worry about it and turns around in the car seat. Or the time going back from academic team saying "you had fun right" and I couldn't help but say yes with a sense of defeat inside and she automatically caught it and said "they are supposed to be fun so cheer up".

So I guess I am going to wrap this up. She generally has made me a happier person and I can't help but smile when she's smiling. But, I really never had a chance to thank her for all she's done, even though the year is not over she has kept me going. So if you're reading this.....I would like to say......Thank You.

Academic team fun!

Well I really haven't written anything for a long time and today I had not homework so I decided why not. Anyways let me just fill you in blog. So last saturday I got 6th in Lincoln-Douglas debate and I felt really proud because I really worked hard to get there; however, if I want to get past 6th I'll need to work harder then ever before. So this week I decided to relax on my debate and start studying for my a-team. So far its been pretty good I have most of the Roman,Greek,Norse,Hindu,Chinesse mythology down. Still need to work on the funky names of the Inca/aztec deitess and need to prush up on Babylonian(I know right I was like what >.*Sigh* only 3 more days to go

those who work hard,play hard, win big

So Life's been pretty quick these past couple of weeks. My days are usually spent 10 hours at school. 9 hours of sleeping. 3 hours of homework. 1 hour of extra activities. 15 minutes of free time. 15 on facebook/aim. And 30 on this blog.

Boring right?

WRONG. OK maybe I'll agree it is a little boring. So anyways most of my days are usually coming home and starting to read. These past few days have been APWH extravaganza and I usually spend a good hour and a half doing it. The other hour and half is usually a mix of bio/phis/alg/eng/french. But some days I just want to give up. These couple of days I've been stressed out to the max. Forensics everyday due to the fact that we are not "competitive" enough,just great more stress. Anyways,sometimes I just want to quit reading AP but something motivates me to continue on. I don't know maybe its just sheer conscious or maybe knowing if I don't I will end up faliing the class. So I have decided to keep on going. But another incident today hit me harder then just study for the next exam. Today in carpool two very good friends of mine decided to duke it out and while I was pretending to not listen I could not help that my chinesse friend made a very good statement on life. Now my Indian friend still hasn't grown up to see the real world just yet he is still in that "Pan-gu coming out of the egg stage." But now I wonder, what will I do after high school? Easy go to college but then you have to get a job and support a family and once you know it one thing comes right after another. But the big question is what do I do now to ensure I get there? Wait do I even want to get there? YES I want to get there. So here I am every week on sunday studying the SAT in hopes of making it to a good college. No let me rephrase I have to WORK to get into a good college. My Indian friend if you are out there right now reading this please understand what the other person has said and why I might have agreed with you only to conceal my own worries. So why try so hard? Why not just quit? BECAUSE QUITTERS ARE LOSERS. I'm not going to quit even if my mind says yes I will not. I am going to keep on going forward,keep on pushing in hope for a better me and a better life.

"There is no failure in not doing it right, there is only failure when quitting"

So I will not quit, I will press forward. Just like the southside high school motto is

"Those who work hard,play hard, win big "

So if you excuse me I think there is some studying I have to do.......

Through a new perspective.

So let's see..put on some new glasses today. Yeah and then all of the sudden BAM! everything has shrank about two feet and everything has become clearer.

Then I take it off and all of the sudden the world becomes blurry,unclear and to some extent foreign. It was like another different world. Then I realized a miracle. Life is just like putting on some new glasses, first lets understand why I say this.

When in middle school back in Michigan I was a horrible student, I skipped class, I forgot to pay my lunch money, I forgot to bring back a book and then lost it, I made B's and C's I was failing my pre-algebra class. Then we moved to South Carolina, and everything changed. I came here for half of the 6th grade and I thought my grades didn't matter that grades don't tell who I am. Damn, was I wrong. 7th grade was a revelation of knowledge and I understood that only my grades could tell what kind of student I was.It was like "putting on glasses" and seeing a new world. 8th grade was the revelation of hard work again another "put on your glasses moment" and BAM another world. If we never moved to South Carolina to start with a new slate, I definitely wouldn't be the student or person I am today.

I was lost in a fog, a world full of uncertainty and fear. Until I changed my perspective and I found that the world was crystal clear and I know where I want to go. Adopted a new mode of thinking.

I've put on glasses and I can see so clearly now.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attidude"

Cure for sadness,anger,depression and anything else that tears a soul.

I've realized that I am unusually sad or angry or depressed. So why?
Dangit, I don't know maybe its just because of the sheer pressure of high school and then going home doing homework. Or those every sunday's studying SAT because I know my future is going to depend on it. But, sometimes I don't even have a reason for my sadness

Yeah I have friends who are always happy and bright, but for some odd reason it won't rub off on me. I think I just take things too personnaly and put way too much pressure on myself.

But I have found a cure.

RUNNING

I decided today after SAT practice and getting a 550 on english (bad.....) that I should release my anger with running.Well first of all I was kind of against the idea of it. Then I decided I should force myself into doing it. So get on my new shoes changed clothes and went outside and started to run. And I have to say I have never felt better in my life during my run. Just something about releasing that sadness and anger into stomping on the ground and moving forward just relaxes me. After running I took a hot shower and what do you know? I feel excelllent so why not do it every day.

That's what I'm going to do. At least three days a week I'm going to run. Just for the feeling of being relaxed and starting a new. If this helps my attidude then I have every reason to run.

"A strong body is necessary for a strong mind"

So that's my resolve I'm going to run. Run for the releasing stress. Run for the fun of it. Run for the future. And run to become a new me.

-€yru$ yang