Myself. I don't know...I've just been feeling so ill prepared for things this week. The AP essay wasn't bad but something just didn't feel right. Riverside was fun..and tiring but still..going 2-2 pretty bad..and I didn't do anything the night before. I dont' even know if I have a chance at district or states. Not only that I'm starting to worry about my grades. Something just seems so uncertain, I hate this feeling. I keep telling myself that I'll bring it up, or I was able too. Now its like..I'm so uncertain, I'm uncertain about school, uncertain about the tests,quizzes,exams(especially world history). I should be studying but I'm not. What is going on??!! I feel so lost..so clouded..my judgement is gone. I don't know what the future is heading towards.
*sigh* I don't know, is life really that good? or have I already given hope on things already.I don't know where I'm going or even where I am? GAhh why do I feel so lost?
Mom came into my room today and said "son I want you to become a doctor, because no matter how bad the economy gets people will always get sick." She also talked about how we could be in troulbe financially and now..I worry that I can't make it to med. school. Yet ever worse I worry that I might not be able to go to college at all because of this economic downfall. I don't know if I can make something I've been dreaming about since I was 8. WHY? why do I feel so lonely? so ill prepared?
I guess my flame is finally going out.....
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