Breaking promises

Well today I broke another one of my promises, i promised i would never cry again, and i broke it about 10 minutes ago. Since I don't feel like blogging on my problems(another promise broken) I 'll just list how sucky my life is....
Broke the promise to be strong
Broke the promise to get an A in APWH
Broke the promise to fall in love
Broke the promise to keep freinds in tact
Broke the promise to be #1
Broke the promise of not crying for anything pointless
Broke the promise of not being an idiot
Broke the promise of using my brain
Breaking the promise of friendships
About to break the promise of getting a 5 on the APWH
Broke the reason of wanting to strive
Broke the chances of getting to any good ivy league school.
Broke my dedication to anything
Breaking the will to succed.

I was an idiot to begin with and I'm an idiot to end , that's all I'll ever be is an idiot.

Reminiscing

I remember the day I first met you..all the way back in chinese school haha. Didn't know you that well nor did I speak very much. But I remembered. Then one day you dissapeared, never saw you ever since, and I admit I really didn't care. All of the sudden 3 years latter in the 8th grade I went to shadow at Southside. Then I saw you, what were the chances? You were a freshman that year and was guiding a shadow by the name of "Tim". But whatever, I left but this time I thought I remembered that face. Somewhere....A year past by,one day I get a phone call by you, asking about carpool. Then next thing you know we are heading straight into the school year. I remember the day we got along just fine. I also remember the day you came up and hugged me, because of what I had said earlier. I also remember the day you were tired and decided to rest your head on my shoulders, as well as that other day you did the same thing. And each time the word "Ira Glass" came up and you would say how it was a story of An american dream. I remember those days. But I remember the painful days too the quietness of the carpool, the lack of socilizing. But I guess that's all my fault, I guess just being raised off of self-toughening and learning has made me somewhat a wolf. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we can't go those memories back. I'm sorry I'm not trying. But the truth is I miss you.....

My final hope

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

Ohh, but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

So give me this one night.
--looking for something to hold on too--
Cyrus Yang

fruits of my labor? with words? nooooo...

well i guess the first thing people think about when they get out of school is "YAY NO MORE WORK!" hmm..work defined in physical science terms is the amount of force nedded to move an object a certain distance. In school terms "studying for tests,quizzes,failing,aceing,barely passing, those ridicuolous amounts of paper wasted on apwh." yeah.

I'm taking a break from all of that. I guess what Nathan's mom said was right "You need to take a break once in a while to understand what you are working so hard for"


and right now I can tell you I have no idea why or what am I working towards.