Uncounted blessings

As this year flew by I realized that I have so many things to be grateful, yet I've never been thankful for it. Waking up everyday after going to sleep is already amazing enough. Yet I don't really care about it. I was born into a family who values hard work, detemination, and loyalty,characerstics I admire. I have a little sister who is my light of the world, but yet I haven't told her. I have a mom who is loving and caring and is always supportive, but never got to say "I love you, Mom" enough times to make it through. I have a father who has built himself, inch by inch yet doesn't get enough praise. I have friends who are the best in the world, yet we don't say it too one another. My closest friends are what hold me up in life, yet I haven't been saying thanks often. But worst of all, I've ignored my guardian angel, trying to grow up too soon.
I tried to grow up suddenly, but when this summer came I realized I didn't grow at all. Nothing happened. I tried to make my own decesions, take control of my own personality and attidude. But ended up worse then where I was. She tried to help, but I took it as an annoyance. I'm still that idiotic,failure that I've always been. Everyone may say that you might work hard and are dedicated but it doesn't mean anything if you don't have the maturity to do it. I haven't grown at all, instead of growing, I shrank. And now that bond has been broken, I have returned to being the ordinary 14 year old kid who doesn't know what the f*** is going on in this world.
So I'm sorry. Its all my fault, I tried to grow up too quickly and ended up being a pain in the a**. And I hope we can still chat and talk like we used to, because it hurts me too see us like this. And I know its all my fault, just blame it all on me.
Another thing I haven't been thankful for is time. I only have 3 years left of my High school life. And 1 of them flew by like lightling. I need to stop acting like a kid, and starting acting like what I'm supposed to be. I never took to thought the words my mother and father said "You don"t have a lot of time" and I finnaly realized that...their right. I don't have a lot of time, and instead of wasting it I should use it. A kid that fails with time, great.

I'm not going to be unthankful for these again, but don't expect a rapid change either. In the end I will always be the kid who works too hard, but doesn't accomoplish anything. Sometimes we take too many things as ordinary and don't realize that they are actually extradionary. So my resolve for the summer: Grow physically, mentally and be thankful for what I have.